4 Ways to Be a Better Mom

Image Source “Microsoft Clip Art”

I don’t claim to have the “Mother of the Year Award” or even the “Mother of the Month” for that matter.  To be honest, many times I feel like an all around failure as a mom.  I just birthed my third child nearly 10 weeks ago and I feel like my life has been chaos since several months before little precious #3 was born.  Don’t get me wrong I love my children and I am extra thankful for every single day that they are on this planet with me, but that doesn’t mean that there are times that I’ve wanted to tear my hair out.  Now I know why everyone looks at you like you are crazy when you have three kids under four.  Sometimes I feel like a freak show the way people look at us. And, now I know what some of those other moms feel like that have the big families.

Now, let’s get a little raw here.  I’ve struggled tremendously at yelling at my children, even though I said I would never do it.  There, I’m outed, I’m a closet yeller, ok?  But, over the past several weeks and months I feel like God has really been working on my heart.  I grew up where my mom yelled often and she feels so guilty about it to this day.  Before I came a mother I had no idea that it might be that easy.  I’ve struggled with guilt, heartache, and just being down right angry at myself.

As I’ve been praying about this pattern about myself that I just don’t like I feel like there have been a few things that have surfaced.  God has spoken to me and I’ve tried them on my children, so I know that they work.  I hope that as you walk down your own road as a mother that these things will be helpful for you as well.  You may not struggle with raising your patience and your voice with your children that I do, but if you struggle with it or not I hope that these 4 ways to be a better mom speak to you.

  • Don’t Put Your Child in a Mold – Over the years I have prided myself in being keen on noticing the uniqueness of each individual person.  However, I’ve miserably failed to do with it with my children.  Each child learns uniquely and I’m sure you know has a personality unique to them.  They need to be disciplined uniquely, loved uniquely and have met needs that are completely unique to them.  I would caution against parenting the same way to each child.  And, even though parenting books can be completely helpful when you are lost, don’t take them for a blanket statement for each child you have.
  • Be a Student of Your Child – As I mentioned above each child in uniquely their own.  As a mother each of us need to be a student of our children so that we understand their uniqueness. We need to understand why they do what they do and what their needs really are.  After all, if we birthed them from our body they are very much part of us.  They have not only some of our DNA, but also our cells.  And, if you spend more time with your child than anyone, no one will know them better than you.  So sit back and watch them, know they tendencies, know their strengths, and their weaknesses, know how they love and need to receive love. And, be sure to give them love that way.  You will be so happy that you did.
  • Go Easy On Yourself – No one is perfect mama.  Even though you will know your child best it takes time to know them.  If you are like me and work from home make sure you carve out time from your day to play with them and observe them.  If you work outside the home it may take some extra intentional regular “date nights” with your child to get to know their ends and outs.  For moms who simply stay at home and manage their household be careful of the time you spend on facebook or other social media accounts.  Chances are it drives your kids crazy.  Don’t be hard on yourself when you mess up.  You can be forgiven by God, yourself, and your child for any mistakes.  This mothering thing is a learning journey.
  • Join a Moms Group – All moms need the support of each other.  Don’t do this moms thing alone.  Join a group like MOPS or get connected with the High Country Mommies.  We can learn so much from each other and other moms who have been moms longer.

I wish you the best in the parenting of the young mind that you are entrusted to.  It is a big responsibility, but it is also a privilege.  God has given you a child to shape and mold your life.  You may not feel like you deserve it, but God knows that he has designed you for this purpose.  I hope that you will enjoy all of it.