Mommy Brain

Freebie Friday is on vacation this week, like me. Here’s a little comic relief for the weekend:

My hairdresser once said to me, “Can I please dye your hair blond so you’ll have an excuse?” (an excuse for being so air-headed, that is!) Not that blonds really are air-headed; a lot of my best friends are blonds, really. Anyway, that was before I had kids. You can imagine what happened to me after the miraculous arrivals of three brain-sucking aliens, ahem, beautiful babies.

Thus, I was introduced to the condition commonly referred to as “Mommy Brain.” In researching this article I found some interesting information on Mommy Brain. First, that it is actually called Mommy Brain. In fact, there were 159,799 results for it on Good Search. Phew! I’m not alone! The website cited “one small study [which] looked at images of the brains of healthy pregnant woman and detected a temporary slight shrinkage in the overall size of the brain during the latter stages of pregnancy as well as an increase in the size of the pituitary gland.

AHA! I’m not insane! I’m not stupid! (well, at least not stupid-er) I am only temporarily brain-size-impaired! Can I get a special license plate for that?

Journalist Katherine Ellison’s book is called “The Mommy Brain: How Motherhood Makes Us Smarter”. Well, she has never met me! I could tell you a few stories! In fact, why don’t I do that right now. You don’t have anything planned for the next three hours, do you? No, really, I thought it would be good to let other brain-size-impaired moms feel better by sharing a few anecdotes.

A good example is 10 seconds ago, while I was trying to type “anecdotes,” I combined it with “antidotes” and wrote “antecdotes”. Hey, mommyhood has made me smarter: I just invented a new word!

Antecdotes: Personal stories shared between moms, which combat feelings of inadequacy, by highlighting the fact that you are not the only one who feels like an idiot sometimes!

So here goes. Shortly after my youngest, Little Pea’s birth, my daughters were invited to a Princess birthday party. When I got the invitation, I wrote the date on the calendar, threw away the card, and promptly called to RSVP. BTW, one of my pet-peeves is when people don’t RSVP, so I was doing great.

When the day came, my girls were beside themselves with excitement. They carefully dressed in their finest princess dress-up dresses, little plastic high-heels, jewelry and accessories. I did their hair and even a little glitter make-up. My girls would be the belles of the ball. We drove around to the back of the house where everyone usually parks, and – wait a minute – where are all the cars? Where are the party hosts? NO-BODY”S-HOME!! OMGoodness! I had written down the wrong date! The tears began to roll. The sobbing began. “We want to go to a princess party! You said it was today!” My favorite was the,” You ruined my life!” from my middle child, aptly nicknamed Princess.

Well, I took them out to lunch in their Princess get-up, so they would be properly “oohed and aahed.” The only problem was that when anyone asked why they were dressed up, they said, “We were supposed to go to a party, but Mommy got the day wrong.” Come on, can’t we lie, just this once?

Then there was the time I mysteriously found the cordless phone in the deep freezer, or when I went to the grocery store and realized forgot my wallet – after I got all my groceries. Then there’s- well, I think that’s enough for today.

A friend made me feel better today when she told me her mommy brain story. After getting home from the beach with her husband and three brain-suckers children, she had a job as a professional photographer at a wedding reception. She got all the way to the reception, only to realize she had left the memory card in the other camera – at home. The rest of the story would only happen in a sit-com:

  • She raced home to get the card, and got back to the reception just in time.
  • She raced to the baby-sitter to pick up the kids.
  • She raced home, and fished for her house key, remembering that she took it off, and brought it in the house while she picked up her memory card.
  • And, yes, had locked it in the house.
  • Since the only two people who have another key were at the beach, she had to meet her husband (who was working 3rd shift) to get the key.
  • And, yes, it was already 11:30.
  • She finally got home at 1:00 am, slid the kids into bed, and collapsed from exhaustion. After all, she had woken up at 4:00 am that morning to drive home from the beach!

At least I didn’t do that, right? Well, moms, help me feel better. Leave a comment and share your Mommy Brain stories. You know you have one!